is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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