Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(757): View more from Virginia

I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.

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(503): View more from Oregon

She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.

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(252): View more from North Carolina

Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,

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(256): View more from Alabama

I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room

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