What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
