Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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