it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
