fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
did i just pee glitter
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
