I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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