I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
she told me i tasted like america
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
When are your genitals available?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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