just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
