can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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