So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
