is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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