Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
