I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
