Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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