Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize