how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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