There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Let's paint friendship bongs
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
