i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize