Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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