He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
