i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
