Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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