i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
this beer tastes like vomit already
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
