sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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