Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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