playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
