She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
