i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
