me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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