Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
