On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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