Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
