apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
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