Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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