Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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