what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize