My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
