Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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