well I can't set my house on fire every night
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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