We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
