JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize