Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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