Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
