can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
