I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
