Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize