her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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