"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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