so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Just high enough for therapy.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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