You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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