It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
