I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
