he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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