Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
