Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
