You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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