I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
