I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
