my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
