UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
